24th of April

Day Two

Today was also wet, but for many reasons, today's wetness was much better than the yesterdays.  For a start, most of it was intentional, and therefore acceptable.  For the latter part, when the wet was in the form of rain, there was a thunder storm and a rugby match to keep me occupied, and so I was distracted from the deluge.


The first wetness of the day was a shower.  Now in modern society this is an accepted way of staying hygienic, thus I am completely for them.  Rain, no matter how much it resembles shower water, will not have the same cleansing effect as having, what is effectively, warm rainwater shot at you through a pipe, whilst being enclosed in a small, rather claustrophobic glass/plastic box.  There is something about small glass/plastic boxes that makes rain acceptable to people, yet they complain tirelessly when it isn't confined to said box.


Anyhow, the second wetness of my day was in the form of a swimming pool.  Now, I like swimming, but there are a few things that wind me up no end whilst I am trying to swim.  

• Slow people in the wrong lane.  There is nothing more frustrating than piling into the back of the person swimming in front of you because they are travelling at a speed which a snail would snigger at.  It boils my blood.  And when they have the cheek to wait until I have almost arrived back at the end of the pool to set off, then I seethe.

• Icebergs.  I don't get how they float, let alone swim.  Some of these icebergs have been swimming for years, yet there appears to be no change.  One can only assume that they feel going for a swim constitutes a double portion at the local chippie.

• People who swim faster than me.

• Old bid breast stroke.  This involves swimming with the head held high above the water to prevent the hair from getting wet.  It also enables the conversation started at the ends of the pool to be carried along while the conversationalists swim, usually side by side.  They block the pool, and force slow people into the faster lanes, causing me to anger.  Grrr....

• Lane direction signs.  Eh?

• People who splash.

• People who splash a lot.

• Warm water.  There is nothing quite so nice as getting into a lovely warm pool.  It is something along the lines of getting into a warm bath after an arduous day.  However, after a few lengths you begin to feel like you are running through the tropics, as the warmth saps all the energy from your legs, and your body cannot cool down.  This is a form of torture, and should be banned.

• Life guards who clearly spend too long worrying about their image.  Does that not slightly concern anyone else?  If they love their image, are they likely to jump in to save you if their do might get wet?  That is a worrying thought.

I'm sure there are other things that annoy me, but I'm too tired to remember them right now, and probably aren't all that important in the first place.  So, I leave tonight, having first got wet in a box, then in a bigger box, before finally out in the open watching my team get beaten via dubious decisions and questionable opposition.  But that is definitely a story for another day....

Joe out.